howlingplayground | (no subject)

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Misa is waiting in the only place she can be hidden and not found on this Death Star: Lord Vader's quarters. She'd tried to meditate earlier and had been, well, poked because the Emperor would be able to find her then. She hates not having anything to do, but apparently, her nervous energy blends in with all the other nervous energy on this... horrific monstrosity.

She sighs and leans against the door, her head tilted back as she stares at the ceiling. She concentrates just enough to know that a fight has started. So. Skywalker had shown up? Good. But that doesn't mean that she's not going to help. Oh, she's not stupid enough to go marching into the throne room and trying to decapitate Palpatine - though it's tempting - but she knows that her Lord cannot survive this without her. Her visions had shown her that much, though she's not sure what to think about them.

Another sigh as she begins to pace again. She needs to get out of here, to get somewhere... Her head snaps up. Something had happened to her Lord. Something... Alarms start going off all over the Death Star and she says his orders be damned, she's not staying here. He needs her.

The entire base is in disarray. Stormtroopers and officers are running all which way. She doesn't care about them. She needs to find him. Racing down corridors that she doesn't find familiar, trailing his fading Force presence, Misa is not going to let him die. She doesn't know that she can help him, but she's going to try!

She skids around a corner, slamming into a trio of Stormtroopers that fall as she uses the Force to right herself. Palpatine is dead. She can tell that. He's dead! She stops, reorienting herself and then dashes off again, sliding around another corner. THERE! There he is. Being helped by... Who is that?

But then the guy falls, and she can't hear what he's saying to her Lord as she pounds her way through the people between them and her. She skids to her knees, just as he's reaching for the helmet. "Don't!" She says, panting. "Don't, you'll kill him!" She puts her hand on Lord Vader's shoulder. "And I'm not going to let you die." She whispers as the Force flows through her, slowly - painstakingly slowly - trying to stabilize her Lord. "We need to get him on the ship and into his bed." She says, not looking at the man who had been carrying Vader. "Please, help me." She waves at the black shuttle that is Lord Vader's private ship that they'd been headed for.

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"Only if you are used to homemade and made from scratch fresh food. Which she is." Yes, she's being snobby about food, and clothing, and he knows. It doesn't bother him - despite the utilitarianism of his clothing, the materials are of the highest quality, and honestly? Misa's desire for them reminded him of Padmé in a way that wasn't designed to cause pain. So he'd never attempted to curb it. Freema had taken care of her anyway - leading to Vader having to do nothing but bury the costs in his books.

And stealing from Palpatine? Was fun.

"Go check-in. Both of you." He'd be fine for a little while. "Luke you need to eat. And sleep." Misa didn't need to be told.

A daughter. Lord Vader has a daughter. While Misa is cognizant of her position - she's his pet healer - she'd always, buried deep in her heart of hearts, wanted to be more. She'd wanted him to look on her as more than just a useful person to have around. But all her training from her childhood comes to the fore. Be what he requires you to be. She remembers that as one of her first lessons. Do not interfere, do not presume, but be indispensable. Another early lesson that Habani had taught her.

So, she will be his pet healer. She will be indispensable, until such time as he requires her not to be. She can do that. She has always known that her position lasts only as long as he needs it to. It's up to her to change to remain useful.

She blinks at his admonishment. "I'll go check-in, first. That way I can finish setting up camp while he does." She has a feeling that Luke's 'check-in' is going to take longer than hers.

Standing, she walks up to the front of the ship, and keys in the codes. Of course, her mom answers, practically vibrating through the holo with worry. Misa reassures her that she's fine, Lord Vader is fine (though not said in so many words), and they'll send word when they know more. Her mom knows better than to question that. Misa doesn't want to give too much away, should the Alliance be listening in.

She walks back, once she's hung up with her mom. "All yours." She says, gathering more equipment that had mysteriously made it onto Vader's ship. (Thank you dad. Sometimes, she swears he has ForeSight.) "I'm going to start setting things up." She says, touching Luke's shoulder then going back outside to start.

In short order, meat will be over a small fire, a shelter set up (for Luke, she's slept worse than next to Lord Vader's table on his ship), and she'll be sitting, staring into the flames. She can't fully block out Lord Vader, but there are things he doesn't know, and she wants to ruminate on them for a moment.

He's aware of the way Misa pulls away, both physically and emotionally, and he swears he'll pay more attention to her. In a bit. She deserves it, but at this moment, there is so much swirling around him, so many thoughts and feelings to process, adding another person is difficult. And Vader, Anakin, his father is right here.

And he's so, so tired. He realizes that suddenly, that he doesn't remember really when last he had truly rested.

"I'll join you in a minute," he says to her retreating back, and becomes vaguely aware of her setting up camp--probably more than he actually requires. He turns back to his father, squeezing his hand again.

"We'll figure this out," he says. "I know it won't be simple. I'm not going to abandon the cause." He bites his lip. "But I'm never going to abandon you, either."

With that, he turns to the cockpit and the comms. He sits for a long moment, breathing deeply, trying to clear his mind of all the layers of confusion the past 48 hours have bred. And keys in the codes that will take him to Leia's comm.

She answered right away, but with a great deal of noise behind her, her voice breathless.

"Luke," she breathes out before he can greet her, and he smiles. Of course she knew. "I knew you had gotten off the Death Star. I knew it." Her voice holds a tremble that indicates she's known, but not believed, and that's okay. He barely did, himself.

"I did. And I'm okay, Leia. I'm just gonna need need some time." He explains that he was forced to land further away than he wanted, but didn't need a rescue. He hoped she believed him about needing time, that the Jedi mystery surrounding his actions would hold. And promise to tell her what had happened when he returned.

He did not like lying to her, but he did not see any this conversation ended well if it began, "I found our father, notorious war criminal, and he's alive."

He walks back to his father, presses his hand again. "I'll check on Misa," he murmurs, and walks out to the camp.

Luke wasn't the only one who noticed Misa had withdrawn, and Vader could guess at the cause. He would have rather have told her about Leia personally, but there hadn't been time or opportunity. He'd address it with her later but right now he can't.

And keeps Luke's hand until he squeezes it again, and (only somewhat) reluctantly allowed him to pull away to make his call, or calls. And tried to reassure himself that Luke wouldn't go to the trouble he has to allow the ship to be swamped with Rebellion troops now. If he's honest, he's more concerned about what would happen to Misa than himself - best case, he's too valuable to be summarily executed. Misa has no such protection, even if he won't allow her to be injured. Never mind if he does, the Rebellion may well be the least of the threat against his life.

Instead, he waits until she heads outside and takes advantage of Luke being distracted to brush against her, wrapping his presence around her possessively, almost with a snarl of 'mine'. It's less a scream and more a growl. Until Luke is settled for the night, it's as much as he can do to reassure her.

When Luke returns he's managed to pull himself up into a recline, and reaches out for him, to pull him in. He's not pleasant to be around - pulling back to what he was Before, he's still cold and Dark, still fighting his way back and all too well aware of the mythology of someone like him going from Jedi to Fallen Jedi to Sith and back. There is a danger to all of them if he fails.

He can't fail.

Beyond what he is in the Force, he's so much mechanical, padded and stiff that he only has a human form, not a feel. Too much armor and electronics to be mistaken for anything else. Still, he reaches out, squeezes Luke's hand and resists pulling him to sit with him. "Please do. But don't push her."

She's staring into the fire, when she feels that familiar presence wrap around her. You can't, really, lie through the Force, not when it comes to emotions. But she can reassure him that she's fine, and that everything will be okay. She doesn't know what the future holds - even the Force can only show possibilities - but she knows it won't be simple. The Rebellion, as much as she hates to admit it, has legitimate grievances against Lord Vader. He's done horrible things, even if some were done under duress.

She knows he cares for her - less so her parents. She knows that he will not allow anything to happen to her. But it's not him she's worried about. She's worried about what the Rebellion will do. About what his children will do. Luke seems to accept him, but will his daughter? And if she does, what does that mean for Misa? If this daughter doesn't accept him, what then? Too many questions, too many possibilities. It's giving her a headache.

When she feels Luke step outside the ship, she motions him over and offers him a Bothan peach. With dark red/purple outside, the bright pink middle is sweet and juicy. And it doesn't even have to be peeled. "Not sure how long the meat has, but there's a few things to eat." She doesn't turn to look at him, but her mouth twitches. "You can ask anything you want." She offers.

He'd let Anakin pull him closer, not resisting. He's exhausted, and maybe he'd be more wary if he had the strength left to worry--but he'd made his choice, and he had paid for it but his father had paid more and there's nothing left for him to doubt, between them. No matter what it feels like, or how little human flesh there is to feel. It doesn't matter. None of it matters.

He has a father.

But he must see to his other needs, and after promising he would not push, he finds Misa and takes the offered peach, staring at it for a moment as if its presence is a miracle.

"You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to," he says gently. "And the same goes this way. I know this... isn't how you saw your day going."

He's relieved Misa is trying to be reassuring herself, he knows she's withdrawing for a reason. And he needs to address that. But for the moment, he can enjoy holding on to his son. Eventually, he may be able to hold Luke outside this suit, to feel his son's head against his shoulder. His son.

There is a part of him that doesn't want to sleep, just in case this is another dream. He's not sure he would want to survive, if it were.

Instead, he keeps a light feel on the pair of them, and rests - while also sensing the area around them. Just in case.

Lord Vader is Paranoid. It deserves a capital letter. She knows this, so feeling his presence spread out, so to speak, is nothing unusual. He's Paranoid, with good reason. She understands, and wants him to rest, but he won't until they're truly safe.

Misa is also resisting the urge to go hover. He's hurt, minus a hand, and needs help - more than he's letting on. She's letting him be stoic and strong in front of his son - men have Pride after all, and it's not a little thing - but she is worried about the strain this is putting on him.

She stares at Luke, as his last sentence sinks in. Then, she sputters a bit, giggling. She hasn't lost her mind. She promises. "Are you kidding?" She asks, then she shakes her head, staring at the fire. "This was the absolute best case scenario. You're alive, you helped him, Palpatine," she spits the name out, "is dead, and he's off that contraption mostly in one piece. It doesn't get better than this." She says, softly. "If you hadn't helped him, that's why I was there. Just in case." And she's sorry she didn't get a chance to hurt Palpatine even in some minor way. "What he needs now is time and safety to recover." She's reinforcing the idea, because she doesn't want Luke to worry. She can handle Lord Vader's recovery. It's not the first time.

"I saw my day ending horrifically, and possibly with me dead, along with Lord Vader. To have it be like this?" She takes a deep breath and looks up at the trees. "I love it."

She turns to look critically at Luke, her dark eyes studying from head to toe. There's a gentle brush of warmth and light against his Force signature. She's doing a surface scan because she wants to know how badly he's injured. Luckily, it looks like he's not. Oh, there's probably a few surface burns, and he's going to ache after he sleeps no doubt, but he won't expire if he sleeps. She puts her hand on his gloved one, able to tell there's no flesh there. It doesn't bother her. She's been around Lord Vader for a little more than six years. Prosthetics just are.

"I met your father about six years ago. He... rescued me from a situation that no child should be in." She says softly. "And less than eight months later... I'm hearing about this pilot, who made a one in a million shot, and destroyed the first Death Star. He was proud of you for that. I want you to know that, so you know somewhat of what type of man he is. There are things about mine and Lord Vader's lives that I cannot tell you." She looks up into his blue eyes. "Not because you don't have a right to know, but because it's not my place to speak of them. But I will answer your questions if I can."

He cannot help but laugh gently, disbelievingly, at her words. Shaking his head, he follows her gaze up and around the trees, and then looks back down and deliberately puts his good hand over hers as it rests on his glove. She's warm in the Force too, despite everything she's been through--and he's certain it's been more than he can know.

"I didn't expect to live through today," he confesses. "That's why I laughed just now. I knew Father wouldn't kill me; but I assumed the Emperor would. Honestly, I hadn't made any plans after tonight. So yeah, I understand you... just being here is amazing."

He takes a deep breath.

"You don't have to worry that I'm going to let anything happen to him. Or you. I don't know yet how, or what we'll do. But I didn't... I haven't gone through all of this just to throw it away. You don't need to worry." He narrows his eyes, watching her. "Or fuss over me."

Vader himself hadn't wanted to die. It's not that he doesn't understand people die, he does, of course. And despite Misa's visions and worries, he was willing to die if he had to save Luke from the fate Palpatine had planned for him. He resented it heavily, the indignity of dying under Palpatine's hand but he had accepted it might be a reality. But it hadn't been THIER reality and he was...

happy? Relieved certainly and for all he was paranoid, he was relaxed in a way Misa wouldn't have ever known him to be. Luke's mirth caused a shift in his attention, that bright, almost blinding Light he remembered from being a boy. It drew him, his presence shifting like a sand dune, to shift and roll and envelop Luke, brushing his presence against him like a familiar tusk cat. Attention and affection but still prowling the area.

Comfortable. He was comfortable. It was strange.

Palpatine absolutely would have killed him. Palpatine would have killed her if he'd ever found out about her. It's why Lord Vader had once broken her jaw for daring to suggest they kill the Emperor first out loud. She hadn't understood at the time, but she does now.

Unconsciously, she rubs her jaw. It doesn't hurt, and doesn't even have memory of the hurt, but it's something she's done whenever someone mentions dying and Palpatine near her.

Then he says not to fuss over him. She laughs again. Her musical laugh ringing out over the little clearing they were in, startling a few birds above them that slowly settled down into their twilight rests. "You are going to love my Mom, if you think I'm fussing." She says, still holding his hand. Her dark eyes look into his blue ones. "But you are Lord Vader's son, and in many ways a lifeline to him." She says, seriously. "That makes me protective of you because I'm protective of him, as much as he allows me to be." Which, in private can range from "get the kriff out" to "let me dote on you endlessly". She's fine with that. But that extends to Luke as well. "That, and I'm a healer." She takes a bite of her peach. "It's in my nature to fuss and hover." She shrugs. "You just have an extra benefit of being closer." She won't say family. Is Lord Vader family? She's never really thought about it before. He's her Lord, and she would do unspeakable things for him... but family, to her, is a nebulous concept.

There's Mom and Dad but they'd started out as Freema and Jocko and she sometimes still calls them that. Are they family? Her biological mother certainly hadn't taught her about the concept. Habani sure as kriff hadn't. So, she doesn't know. She doesn't know what family is really. It's one place where her education has been sorely lacking.

But she can tell, to Lord Vader, this guy is family, is everything. He's managed, in a few short hours to do something she's never managed to do: Make Lord Vader content. She can feel his contentedness. And it makes her happy. Maybe tonight, he'll sleep without the nightmares that often plague him.

"So, I won't apologize, but I will say I'll attempt to do it at a distance for the most part." She promises. It's the most she can give him.

Luke eyes her wryly. "I'm not asking for an apology for you being nice to a stranger," he clarifies. "I just... I know this situation is new. For all of us. I'm just trying to tell you I don't intend to do anything that will endanger either of you."

He just needs to figure out what that means. But he's reaching the end of any brainpower he's ever had, and inspiration isn't going to come to him tonight.

"I just want you to understand I care about him. I know you've...been around longer. But I'm not going to squander the faith he's put in me."

Palpatine is dead, a goal he's had since before Luke was born. And it was finally, finally, done. Not when he wanted, not how he wanted, but it was done. Was the galaxy at peace? No, it wasn't. it wouldn't be for some time - but Vader could do something about some of that, and would be willing to. For Luke's sake if for no other reason but also honestly?

For Misa too. For what could have been, would have been, if he hadn't stumbled over her.

For all of the Outer Rim which had found a stability under the Empire which the Republic hadn't had - one he's not willing to allow them to lose.

And Misa was laughing and more relaxed. It took his wariness down just a level but also made him determined to stay alert - the kids, both of them, deserved a chance to rest.

Misa will argue with Lord Vader later. She's done nothing today, really. Not like he and Luke had. And she can tell, Luke is fading.

"I will explain how you are no stranger to me, tomorrow." She says, raising her hand to cup Luke's cheek. "Because you aren't. Not in the way you mean. But for tonight, I want you to eat, and then sleep." She says, smiling a bit.

She pushes herself up and checks the meat, spearing a few pieces onto a plate. "Here. This, and the fruit aren't what my Mom would call a meal, but it's what we have." She says. "Eat, and then, we will rest. Tomorrow brings more challenges." She'll spend the night on the floor of the ship. Not the first time she's done that. Besides, it leaves her close, if something goes wrong with Lord Vader.

She smiles at Luke. "Eat, and then into the shelter with you. You need rest as much as he does." She smirks. "Time for me to put to use all my training and protect you both."

He smiles at her, eyes softening at her words, because he cannot help but give in. Whoever this person is, she's important to Vader. Maybe she's the reason Luke was able to reach him. Maybe all Luke had offered was that final push.

He'll figure it all out. Tomorrow.

She says something about this not being a real meal but at the first bite of the meet his eyes fly up to hers and he nods appreciatively. He's ravenous, and while the Ewoks had fed them pretty well, he's used to dehydrated meal cubes and jerky. "This is amazing," he says. He eats some more, and when he feels like he can think a little again, he says, "thank you. Not for this. I mean, for this, yes. But for... what you are to him. And for saving both of us."

Luke isn't the final push, that would far understate how much Skywalker. Yes, Skywalker. Not Vader, not Anakin, but Skywalker had wanted Luke, had loved a child not even yet born, had mourned a child he believed dead. Nor is Misa the first - for that honor was always Padmé's. She was, even now, first in his heart and life. And there had been others, a little twi'lek everyone had forgotten about, Ahsoka, Aphra. Luke's rarity seemed more in being a boy. Not in being someone who was able to reach the heart Vader had sworn he no longer had.

But those are all stories not for tonight, not even for tomorrow really - although Ahsoka would probably come first, once he figured out what he planned to say to her. And others - people he could feel on the edges as if watching.

Probably watching. People he wasn't sure he was ready to acknowledge.

But Luke might be - Qui-Gon Jinn had once upon a time spoken to him in his sleep. He wondered if Kenobi would to Luke. What he'd think of Misa. What Ahsoka would think of her.

She ducks her head, glad he likes the food. He'll love her mother's cooking, if something so simple can make him happy.

She blushes at his thanks. "I... Lord Vader saved me." She says, softly. "He saw a young, terrified girl, and rescued her from a life that might have destroyed who and what I am." She can see that now, with years of separation. With the kindness of her parents, and yes, even the kindness of Lord Vader, she can see that being a courtesan, no matter how much she thought she wanted it, would have destroyed part of her.

"I am glad to repay what he has done for me in some small measure." She whispers. "As long as you forgive me, as he does, when I become imperious because I am the Healer and really do know best, I think we could become friends?" Perhaps more, were he willing, but that's a conversation for a different time, a different place.

All it means is that Anakin Skywalker had never truly been lost. Ben had been wrong. As had Master Yoda.

Not that Luke would say it to their faces. Or, well. He thinks he should be the type of person who wouldn't say it to their faces, but he probably would. If only they were here, with faces, to understand the gravity of what's happened. To know that Anakin has come back to him. To them.

He blinks at Misa. "I almost died tonight because I offered myself up to the man who cut my hand off expecting him to change his mind," he says. Maybe he is tired--he wouldn't normally be so blunt. "I think I can safely say a lack of forgiveness is not an issue I have."

And he smiles at her, as if to say, it's not a question.

In some ways he had been lost - so far gone the person he'd been, the man who stood on a veranda on Coruscant, lightly running his hand over his wife's belly while also holding her, had been someone he hated. A weak man who'd lost everything due to god own stupidity. But he'd never truly stopped loving even if as far as he knew, the people who he'd loved were ghosts.

He had been lost, feeling like he'd backed himself into a corner with no way out and had lashed out at those who would keep him there. But slowly he'd found ways out. Trained himself when Palpatine refused to. Reclaimed things he'd been good at, great at. Reclaimed the ability to care.

You left me, you wanted me to die, you didn't care about me! He probably would have screamed those words, could he scream, at Kenobi would have at Yoda. It had taken time but he'd latched onto the lifelines he'd found and been given. Had clawed his way back to something.

Whatever this was.

Misa chuckles. "Whereas I was there, just in case you didn't believe in him enough." She wraps her arms around her knees. She shakes her head. "It has been a day." She says, dryly. Rocking back, she looks at the trees and at the stars that are peeking through the veil of branches. She has no doubt that the animals of the forest are watching them. She knows Lord Vader is keeping an eye on them.

"Well, since you've already forgiven me, I'm going to prod you a bit." She nudges him with her elbow. "Eat, then sleep. I'm going to be telling your father the same thing as soon as I've put you to bed." Meaning, it will be up to her to keep an eye out. She's used to being spread out over an area, and the two men have had an eventful day. And if she has to, she can help Lord Vader sleep. She's done it before.

"Do you want some help sleeping?" She asks Luke gently, putting her hand on his knee. She'll take liberties, because she can and he's already forgiven her, right?

If he'd known she was thinking about his forgiveness, he would have been confused. Or even more confused. Forgive her for what? For believing in his father when literally no one, including himself, had? He blinks at the hand on his knee, not out of any sort of discomfort but just sort of overcome with the stress of the day, and back up at her face.

"I can't let you keep watch," he says dumbly. "What if something happens?"

He doesn't think he'll need help sleeping. And he also has no idea what she means. There's so much he doesn't know. So much that will probably terrify him in retrospect.

But if he'd known anything, he'd never have started out.

He knew Misa would be coming to fuss at him to sleep. He knew it would likely lead to disagreement - Vader not wanting to sleep, Misa knowing he needed to. And eventually, he would doze, in fits and starts. But he was unwilling to sleep, here, on Endor, with it being so unstable.

Not that the girl hadn't kept watch before, not that he didn't trust her to do so, over himself and his son. He's not paranoid, people truly want him dead. Would harm her. Would possibly harm Luke to get through.

But Luke at least needs to sleep and he knows Misa won't leave him until he is.

Oh, she and Lord Vader have gotten into arguments before about his lack of sleeping. She knows there are things she cannot possibly understand about his nightmares. She knows that his nightmares are only a part of the reason he doesn't like to sleep. But, she also knows that he needs sleep. He feels better after he actually sleeps and not just dozes. Plus, if he dozes, she can work a little bit tonight, even while she's keeping watch.

She smiles at Luke, amused at his concern. "If something happens, I won't be far from you, and you can roll out of the shelter, and rescue me." She's teasing. She very, very rarely needs rescued and once had been because that Toydarean, Treeko, had sent a bounty hunter to find her when she was fifteen. Lord Vader had not taken well to such a thing happening.

"Really, Luke," she uses his name for the first time. "I'll be okay. I'm going to get into an argument with your father," still weird to say, "and then, I'll be meditating most of the night. It'll help my focus, and allow me to protect all three of us." She knows that if the Rebels come upon them, likely the only person to get out unscathed is Luke. "You have been through an emotionally and physically taxing trial. It's okay to let someone else bear the burden for a moment." She says gently.

He wants to argue. He wants to frown and ask if he really sounds like some hero with what Han would call "delusions of grandeur." He wants to set up a rotating watch. He wants to do a lot of things except he suddenly realizes... he really doesn't.

He's tired. Exhausted, even, in every possible way. And he can't fight her, too.

"Okay," he says, suddenly giving in. He smiles tiredly at her. "You're right, and I'm no good to anyone if I don't rest. Thank you. For ... everything."

Is he aware of the discussion outside? No. He's aware of the emotions and feels both Misa's resolve and Luke's exhaustion. Skywalker presses up against him after a moment, trying to conjure up what it felt like when his mother had tucked him in, kissed his forehead, to put him to bed. He barely can remember what it felt like and can't imagine what it felt like from her end. But he tried to send that emotion, of being loved, of being safe, of it being safe to sleep and time to sleep from a childhood he wanted to forget and yet couldn't escape.

He pressed against Misa too, approving fondness and resigned to her fussing that would come.

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(sorry about the delay, my brain, y'all)

...i've waited YEARS, literally. you're good.

Dude, it's always cool!

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