howlingplayground | (no subject)

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Misa is waiting in the only place she can be hidden and not found on this Death Star: Lord Vader's quarters. She'd tried to meditate earlier and had been, well, poked because the Emperor would be able to find her then. She hates not having anything to do, but apparently, her nervous energy blends in with all the other nervous energy on this... horrific monstrosity.

She sighs and leans against the door, her head tilted back as she stares at the ceiling. She concentrates just enough to know that a fight has started. So. Skywalker had shown up? Good. But that doesn't mean that she's not going to help. Oh, she's not stupid enough to go marching into the throne room and trying to decapitate Palpatine - though it's tempting - but she knows that her Lord cannot survive this without her. Her visions had shown her that much, though she's not sure what to think about them.

Another sigh as she begins to pace again. She needs to get out of here, to get somewhere... Her head snaps up. Something had happened to her Lord. Something... Alarms start going off all over the Death Star and she says his orders be damned, she's not staying here. He needs her.

The entire base is in disarray. Stormtroopers and officers are running all which way. She doesn't care about them. She needs to find him. Racing down corridors that she doesn't find familiar, trailing his fading Force presence, Misa is not going to let him die. She doesn't know that she can help him, but she's going to try!

She skids around a corner, slamming into a trio of Stormtroopers that fall as she uses the Force to right herself. Palpatine is dead. She can tell that. He's dead! She stops, reorienting herself and then dashes off again, sliding around another corner. THERE! There he is. Being helped by... Who is that?

But then the guy falls, and she can't hear what he's saying to her Lord as she pounds her way through the people between them and her. She skids to her knees, just as he's reaching for the helmet. "Don't!" She says, panting. "Don't, you'll kill him!" She puts her hand on Lord Vader's shoulder. "And I'm not going to let you die." She whispers as the Force flows through her, slowly - painstakingly slowly - trying to stabilize her Lord. "We need to get him on the ship and into his bed." She says, not looking at the man who had been carrying Vader. "Please, help me." She waves at the black shuttle that is Lord Vader's private ship that they'd been headed for.

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He'd let Anakin pull him closer, not resisting. He's exhausted, and maybe he'd be more wary if he had the strength left to worry--but he'd made his choice, and he had paid for it but his father had paid more and there's nothing left for him to doubt, between them. No matter what it feels like, or how little human flesh there is to feel. It doesn't matter. None of it matters.

He has a father.

But he must see to his other needs, and after promising he would not push, he finds Misa and takes the offered peach, staring at it for a moment as if its presence is a miracle.

"You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to," he says gently. "And the same goes this way. I know this... isn't how you saw your day going."

He's relieved Misa is trying to be reassuring herself, he knows she's withdrawing for a reason. And he needs to address that. But for the moment, he can enjoy holding on to his son. Eventually, he may be able to hold Luke outside this suit, to feel his son's head against his shoulder. His son.

There is a part of him that doesn't want to sleep, just in case this is another dream. He's not sure he would want to survive, if it were.

Instead, he keeps a light feel on the pair of them, and rests - while also sensing the area around them. Just in case.

Lord Vader is Paranoid. It deserves a capital letter. She knows this, so feeling his presence spread out, so to speak, is nothing unusual. He's Paranoid, with good reason. She understands, and wants him to rest, but he won't until they're truly safe.

Misa is also resisting the urge to go hover. He's hurt, minus a hand, and needs help - more than he's letting on. She's letting him be stoic and strong in front of his son - men have Pride after all, and it's not a little thing - but she is worried about the strain this is putting on him.

She stares at Luke, as his last sentence sinks in. Then, she sputters a bit, giggling. She hasn't lost her mind. She promises. "Are you kidding?" She asks, then she shakes her head, staring at the fire. "This was the absolute best case scenario. You're alive, you helped him, Palpatine," she spits the name out, "is dead, and he's off that contraption mostly in one piece. It doesn't get better than this." She says, softly. "If you hadn't helped him, that's why I was there. Just in case." And she's sorry she didn't get a chance to hurt Palpatine even in some minor way. "What he needs now is time and safety to recover." She's reinforcing the idea, because she doesn't want Luke to worry. She can handle Lord Vader's recovery. It's not the first time.

"I saw my day ending horrifically, and possibly with me dead, along with Lord Vader. To have it be like this?" She takes a deep breath and looks up at the trees. "I love it."

She turns to look critically at Luke, her dark eyes studying from head to toe. There's a gentle brush of warmth and light against his Force signature. She's doing a surface scan because she wants to know how badly he's injured. Luckily, it looks like he's not. Oh, there's probably a few surface burns, and he's going to ache after he sleeps no doubt, but he won't expire if he sleeps. She puts her hand on his gloved one, able to tell there's no flesh there. It doesn't bother her. She's been around Lord Vader for a little more than six years. Prosthetics just are.

"I met your father about six years ago. He... rescued me from a situation that no child should be in." She says softly. "And less than eight months later... I'm hearing about this pilot, who made a one in a million shot, and destroyed the first Death Star. He was proud of you for that. I want you to know that, so you know somewhat of what type of man he is. There are things about mine and Lord Vader's lives that I cannot tell you." She looks up into his blue eyes. "Not because you don't have a right to know, but because it's not my place to speak of them. But I will answer your questions if I can."

He cannot help but laugh gently, disbelievingly, at her words. Shaking his head, he follows her gaze up and around the trees, and then looks back down and deliberately puts his good hand over hers as it rests on his glove. She's warm in the Force too, despite everything she's been through--and he's certain it's been more than he can know.

"I didn't expect to live through today," he confesses. "That's why I laughed just now. I knew Father wouldn't kill me; but I assumed the Emperor would. Honestly, I hadn't made any plans after tonight. So yeah, I understand you... just being here is amazing."

He takes a deep breath.

"You don't have to worry that I'm going to let anything happen to him. Or you. I don't know yet how, or what we'll do. But I didn't... I haven't gone through all of this just to throw it away. You don't need to worry." He narrows his eyes, watching her. "Or fuss over me."

Vader himself hadn't wanted to die. It's not that he doesn't understand people die, he does, of course. And despite Misa's visions and worries, he was willing to die if he had to save Luke from the fate Palpatine had planned for him. He resented it heavily, the indignity of dying under Palpatine's hand but he had accepted it might be a reality. But it hadn't been THIER reality and he was...

happy? Relieved certainly and for all he was paranoid, he was relaxed in a way Misa wouldn't have ever known him to be. Luke's mirth caused a shift in his attention, that bright, almost blinding Light he remembered from being a boy. It drew him, his presence shifting like a sand dune, to shift and roll and envelop Luke, brushing his presence against him like a familiar tusk cat. Attention and affection but still prowling the area.

Comfortable. He was comfortable. It was strange.

Palpatine absolutely would have killed him. Palpatine would have killed her if he'd ever found out about her. It's why Lord Vader had once broken her jaw for daring to suggest they kill the Emperor first out loud. She hadn't understood at the time, but she does now.

Unconsciously, she rubs her jaw. It doesn't hurt, and doesn't even have memory of the hurt, but it's something she's done whenever someone mentions dying and Palpatine near her.

Then he says not to fuss over him. She laughs again. Her musical laugh ringing out over the little clearing they were in, startling a few birds above them that slowly settled down into their twilight rests. "You are going to love my Mom, if you think I'm fussing." She says, still holding his hand. Her dark eyes look into his blue ones. "But you are Lord Vader's son, and in many ways a lifeline to him." She says, seriously. "That makes me protective of you because I'm protective of him, as much as he allows me to be." Which, in private can range from "get the kriff out" to "let me dote on you endlessly". She's fine with that. But that extends to Luke as well. "That, and I'm a healer." She takes a bite of her peach. "It's in my nature to fuss and hover." She shrugs. "You just have an extra benefit of being closer." She won't say family. Is Lord Vader family? She's never really thought about it before. He's her Lord, and she would do unspeakable things for him... but family, to her, is a nebulous concept.

There's Mom and Dad but they'd started out as Freema and Jocko and she sometimes still calls them that. Are they family? Her biological mother certainly hadn't taught her about the concept. Habani sure as kriff hadn't. So, she doesn't know. She doesn't know what family is really. It's one place where her education has been sorely lacking.

But she can tell, to Lord Vader, this guy is family, is everything. He's managed, in a few short hours to do something she's never managed to do: Make Lord Vader content. She can feel his contentedness. And it makes her happy. Maybe tonight, he'll sleep without the nightmares that often plague him.

"So, I won't apologize, but I will say I'll attempt to do it at a distance for the most part." She promises. It's the most she can give him.

Luke eyes her wryly. "I'm not asking for an apology for you being nice to a stranger," he clarifies. "I just... I know this situation is new. For all of us. I'm just trying to tell you I don't intend to do anything that will endanger either of you."

He just needs to figure out what that means. But he's reaching the end of any brainpower he's ever had, and inspiration isn't going to come to him tonight.

"I just want you to understand I care about him. I know you've...been around longer. But I'm not going to squander the faith he's put in me."

Palpatine is dead, a goal he's had since before Luke was born. And it was finally, finally, done. Not when he wanted, not how he wanted, but it was done. Was the galaxy at peace? No, it wasn't. it wouldn't be for some time - but Vader could do something about some of that, and would be willing to. For Luke's sake if for no other reason but also honestly?

For Misa too. For what could have been, would have been, if he hadn't stumbled over her.

For all of the Outer Rim which had found a stability under the Empire which the Republic hadn't had - one he's not willing to allow them to lose.

And Misa was laughing and more relaxed. It took his wariness down just a level but also made him determined to stay alert - the kids, both of them, deserved a chance to rest.

Misa will argue with Lord Vader later. She's done nothing today, really. Not like he and Luke had. And she can tell, Luke is fading.

"I will explain how you are no stranger to me, tomorrow." She says, raising her hand to cup Luke's cheek. "Because you aren't. Not in the way you mean. But for tonight, I want you to eat, and then sleep." She says, smiling a bit.

She pushes herself up and checks the meat, spearing a few pieces onto a plate. "Here. This, and the fruit aren't what my Mom would call a meal, but it's what we have." She says. "Eat, and then, we will rest. Tomorrow brings more challenges." She'll spend the night on the floor of the ship. Not the first time she's done that. Besides, it leaves her close, if something goes wrong with Lord Vader.

She smiles at Luke. "Eat, and then into the shelter with you. You need rest as much as he does." She smirks. "Time for me to put to use all my training and protect you both."

He smiles at her, eyes softening at her words, because he cannot help but give in. Whoever this person is, she's important to Vader. Maybe she's the reason Luke was able to reach him. Maybe all Luke had offered was that final push.

He'll figure it all out. Tomorrow.

She says something about this not being a real meal but at the first bite of the meet his eyes fly up to hers and he nods appreciatively. He's ravenous, and while the Ewoks had fed them pretty well, he's used to dehydrated meal cubes and jerky. "This is amazing," he says. He eats some more, and when he feels like he can think a little again, he says, "thank you. Not for this. I mean, for this, yes. But for... what you are to him. And for saving both of us."

Luke isn't the final push, that would far understate how much Skywalker. Yes, Skywalker. Not Vader, not Anakin, but Skywalker had wanted Luke, had loved a child not even yet born, had mourned a child he believed dead. Nor is Misa the first - for that honor was always Padmé's. She was, even now, first in his heart and life. And there had been others, a little twi'lek everyone had forgotten about, Ahsoka, Aphra. Luke's rarity seemed more in being a boy. Not in being someone who was able to reach the heart Vader had sworn he no longer had.

But those are all stories not for tonight, not even for tomorrow really - although Ahsoka would probably come first, once he figured out what he planned to say to her. And others - people he could feel on the edges as if watching.

Probably watching. People he wasn't sure he was ready to acknowledge.

But Luke might be - Qui-Gon Jinn had once upon a time spoken to him in his sleep. He wondered if Kenobi would to Luke. What he'd think of Misa. What Ahsoka would think of her.

She ducks her head, glad he likes the food. He'll love her mother's cooking, if something so simple can make him happy.

She blushes at his thanks. "I... Lord Vader saved me." She says, softly. "He saw a young, terrified girl, and rescued her from a life that might have destroyed who and what I am." She can see that now, with years of separation. With the kindness of her parents, and yes, even the kindness of Lord Vader, she can see that being a courtesan, no matter how much she thought she wanted it, would have destroyed part of her.

"I am glad to repay what he has done for me in some small measure." She whispers. "As long as you forgive me, as he does, when I become imperious because I am the Healer and really do know best, I think we could become friends?" Perhaps more, were he willing, but that's a conversation for a different time, a different place.

All it means is that Anakin Skywalker had never truly been lost. Ben had been wrong. As had Master Yoda.

Not that Luke would say it to their faces. Or, well. He thinks he should be the type of person who wouldn't say it to their faces, but he probably would. If only they were here, with faces, to understand the gravity of what's happened. To know that Anakin has come back to him. To them.

He blinks at Misa. "I almost died tonight because I offered myself up to the man who cut my hand off expecting him to change his mind," he says. Maybe he is tired--he wouldn't normally be so blunt. "I think I can safely say a lack of forgiveness is not an issue I have."

And he smiles at her, as if to say, it's not a question.

In some ways he had been lost - so far gone the person he'd been, the man who stood on a veranda on Coruscant, lightly running his hand over his wife's belly while also holding her, had been someone he hated. A weak man who'd lost everything due to god own stupidity. But he'd never truly stopped loving even if as far as he knew, the people who he'd loved were ghosts.

He had been lost, feeling like he'd backed himself into a corner with no way out and had lashed out at those who would keep him there. But slowly he'd found ways out. Trained himself when Palpatine refused to. Reclaimed things he'd been good at, great at. Reclaimed the ability to care.

You left me, you wanted me to die, you didn't care about me! He probably would have screamed those words, could he scream, at Kenobi would have at Yoda. It had taken time but he'd latched onto the lifelines he'd found and been given. Had clawed his way back to something.

Whatever this was.

Misa chuckles. "Whereas I was there, just in case you didn't believe in him enough." She wraps her arms around her knees. She shakes her head. "It has been a day." She says, dryly. Rocking back, she looks at the trees and at the stars that are peeking through the veil of branches. She has no doubt that the animals of the forest are watching them. She knows Lord Vader is keeping an eye on them.

"Well, since you've already forgiven me, I'm going to prod you a bit." She nudges him with her elbow. "Eat, then sleep. I'm going to be telling your father the same thing as soon as I've put you to bed." Meaning, it will be up to her to keep an eye out. She's used to being spread out over an area, and the two men have had an eventful day. And if she has to, she can help Lord Vader sleep. She's done it before.

"Do you want some help sleeping?" She asks Luke gently, putting her hand on his knee. She'll take liberties, because she can and he's already forgiven her, right?

If he'd known she was thinking about his forgiveness, he would have been confused. Or even more confused. Forgive her for what? For believing in his father when literally no one, including himself, had? He blinks at the hand on his knee, not out of any sort of discomfort but just sort of overcome with the stress of the day, and back up at her face.

"I can't let you keep watch," he says dumbly. "What if something happens?"

He doesn't think he'll need help sleeping. And he also has no idea what she means. There's so much he doesn't know. So much that will probably terrify him in retrospect.

But if he'd known anything, he'd never have started out.

He knew Misa would be coming to fuss at him to sleep. He knew it would likely lead to disagreement - Vader not wanting to sleep, Misa knowing he needed to. And eventually, he would doze, in fits and starts. But he was unwilling to sleep, here, on Endor, with it being so unstable.

Not that the girl hadn't kept watch before, not that he didn't trust her to do so, over himself and his son. He's not paranoid, people truly want him dead. Would harm her. Would possibly harm Luke to get through.

But Luke at least needs to sleep and he knows Misa won't leave him until he is.

Oh, she and Lord Vader have gotten into arguments before about his lack of sleeping. She knows there are things she cannot possibly understand about his nightmares. She knows that his nightmares are only a part of the reason he doesn't like to sleep. But, she also knows that he needs sleep. He feels better after he actually sleeps and not just dozes. Plus, if he dozes, she can work a little bit tonight, even while she's keeping watch.

She smiles at Luke, amused at his concern. "If something happens, I won't be far from you, and you can roll out of the shelter, and rescue me." She's teasing. She very, very rarely needs rescued and once had been because that Toydarean, Treeko, had sent a bounty hunter to find her when she was fifteen. Lord Vader had not taken well to such a thing happening.

"Really, Luke," she uses his name for the first time. "I'll be okay. I'm going to get into an argument with your father," still weird to say, "and then, I'll be meditating most of the night. It'll help my focus, and allow me to protect all three of us." She knows that if the Rebels come upon them, likely the only person to get out unscathed is Luke. "You have been through an emotionally and physically taxing trial. It's okay to let someone else bear the burden for a moment." She says gently.

He wants to argue. He wants to frown and ask if he really sounds like some hero with what Han would call "delusions of grandeur." He wants to set up a rotating watch. He wants to do a lot of things except he suddenly realizes... he really doesn't.

He's tired. Exhausted, even, in every possible way. And he can't fight her, too.

"Okay," he says, suddenly giving in. He smiles tiredly at her. "You're right, and I'm no good to anyone if I don't rest. Thank you. For ... everything."

Is he aware of the discussion outside? No. He's aware of the emotions and feels both Misa's resolve and Luke's exhaustion. Skywalker presses up against him after a moment, trying to conjure up what it felt like when his mother had tucked him in, kissed his forehead, to put him to bed. He barely can remember what it felt like and can't imagine what it felt like from her end. But he tried to send that emotion, of being loved, of being safe, of it being safe to sleep and time to sleep from a childhood he wanted to forget and yet couldn't escape.

He pressed against Misa too, approving fondness and resigned to her fussing that would come.

The fussing is coming. There's no way Vader is getting out of it. The only way he can is by sleeping, which means, she wins anyway!

She presses her presence back against him, reassuring him that his son will be safe and cared for. She would never allow anything to happen to Lord Vader's Son.

To Luke, though, she just holds onto his hand and bumps him genially with an elbow. "You're welcome. And you'll find that I'm right, rather often." Especially when it comes to physical complaints. She knows both men are exhausted and sore. She also knows this isn't the worst Vader has been. But he doesn't have anything else to prove. Palpatine is dead.

Palpatine is dead. And his father is alive. Some might contest the actual state of his health, and his validity as a father figure, but to Luke, he has his father. Not back, no, because he'd never been anything but a fantasy to begin with.

For the first time.

He thinks it will be hard for him to fall asleep, but it is a matter of minutes from his head hitting the ground to fatigue overcoming him. This does not mean the Force is done with him, however...

Palpatine is dead but he knows that doesn't mean the threat is over but it is radically reduced. They have time. Time for him to heal, to go digging through the wreak ob the Death Star for things he values.

Time to reach out, to attempt to find an old friend, to see if she meant it - "I won't leave you this time" - because Luke (and Leia) will need training he can't provide.

He can almost hear "trust me so little old friend?" but ignore it. There are things, people, he's not ready to face.

But of course, the Force week do as it's wont to do. To him. To Luke. He knows it's easier for those who have joined the Force to speak when one sleeps and its only part of why he resists.

But Luke doesn't know that perhaps or has less opposition to the idea - Skywalker knows he's fast asleep and himself well. There is that twilight between sleep and wakefullness he can almost swim in.

And its in sleep that Luke will find himself standing on an ancient stone plaza, with a large stone carved with equally ancient word around the edge, and Kenobi waiting. "You did well Luke." It's warm, welcoming.

Misa waits for Luke to be asleep, and then, she banks the fire, and gathers up the food to go into the ship with her. Putting it away, she sits next to Lord Vader's bed, and realizes while he's not asleep, he's resting and sometimes that's the most she can ask for. She won't bother him tonight about actually sleeping. She doubts he'd take well to her good-natured nagging anyway.

She takes in a deep breath and lets out the terror, the uncertainty finally. Lord Vader is alive. Luke is alive (She'd had thoughts that if Luke died, there'd be no stopping her Lord from following him). And Palpatine is dead. She knows that the Emperor probably had contingencies for just such a possibility, but for right now, he's dead and they can take a deep breath.

She doesn't sleep. This isn't the first night she's kept watch over her Lord for one reason or another - at least this time it isn't, directly, because of Palpatine - and she knows that Luke will probably need her come morning.

Staring at the ceiling, she takes another breath and releases her rigid self control, allowing her senses to spread out over the area. She can feel Luke, her Lord and the creatures curious about the silent metal creature in their midst. She just lets herself ride that sensation against her senses. It is, for once, peaceful.

Luke stirs slightly in his sleep, but not enough to really make any noise or rouse anyone. In his... dream? Vision? He is still. Watching Ben with a sort of wariness, despite the other man's obvious warmth. Ben seems to always show up only to throw his understanding of the world into chaos, and now is no different.

"I thought you'd be disappointed," he says finally, and if he has questions about where he is or how, he doesn't voice them. Yet. "You said there was nothing left to reach."

It's not to say 'you were wrong' so much as to say, 'you thought I was wrong,' and even if it amounts to the same thing, it's the latter he means.