Misa Almassy aka Lilith (
the_gardens_apple) wrote in
howlingplayground2020-07-14 10:53 pm
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Misa is waiting in the only place she can be hidden and not found on this Death Star: Lord Vader's quarters. She'd tried to meditate earlier and had been, well, poked because the Emperor would be able to find her then. She hates not having anything to do, but apparently, her nervous energy blends in with all the other nervous energy on this... horrific monstrosity.
She sighs and leans against the door, her head tilted back as she stares at the ceiling. She concentrates just enough to know that a fight has started. So. Skywalker had shown up? Good. But that doesn't mean that she's not going to help. Oh, she's not stupid enough to go marching into the throne room and trying to decapitate Palpatine - though it's tempting - but she knows that her Lord cannot survive this without her. Her visions had shown her that much, though she's not sure what to think about them.
Another sigh as she begins to pace again. She needs to get out of here, to get somewhere... Her head snaps up. Something had happened to her Lord. Something... Alarms start going off all over the Death Star and she says his orders be damned, she's not staying here. He needs her.
The entire base is in disarray. Stormtroopers and officers are running all which way. She doesn't care about them. She needs to find him. Racing down corridors that she doesn't find familiar, trailing his fading Force presence, Misa is not going to let him die. She doesn't know that she can help him, but she's going to try!
She skids around a corner, slamming into a trio of Stormtroopers that fall as she uses the Force to right herself. Palpatine is dead. She can tell that. He's dead! She stops, reorienting herself and then dashes off again, sliding around another corner. THERE! There he is. Being helped by... Who is that?
But then the guy falls, and she can't hear what he's saying to her Lord as she pounds her way through the people between them and her. She skids to her knees, just as he's reaching for the helmet. "Don't!" She says, panting. "Don't, you'll kill him!" She puts her hand on Lord Vader's shoulder. "And I'm not going to let you die." She whispers as the Force flows through her, slowly - painstakingly slowly - trying to stabilize her Lord. "We need to get him on the ship and into his bed." She says, not looking at the man who had been carrying Vader. "Please, help me." She waves at the black shuttle that is Lord Vader's private ship that they'd been headed for.
She sighs and leans against the door, her head tilted back as she stares at the ceiling. She concentrates just enough to know that a fight has started. So. Skywalker had shown up? Good. But that doesn't mean that she's not going to help. Oh, she's not stupid enough to go marching into the throne room and trying to decapitate Palpatine - though it's tempting - but she knows that her Lord cannot survive this without her. Her visions had shown her that much, though she's not sure what to think about them.
Another sigh as she begins to pace again. She needs to get out of here, to get somewhere... Her head snaps up. Something had happened to her Lord. Something... Alarms start going off all over the Death Star and she says his orders be damned, she's not staying here. He needs her.
The entire base is in disarray. Stormtroopers and officers are running all which way. She doesn't care about them. She needs to find him. Racing down corridors that she doesn't find familiar, trailing his fading Force presence, Misa is not going to let him die. She doesn't know that she can help him, but she's going to try!
She skids around a corner, slamming into a trio of Stormtroopers that fall as she uses the Force to right herself. Palpatine is dead. She can tell that. He's dead! She stops, reorienting herself and then dashes off again, sliding around another corner. THERE! There he is. Being helped by... Who is that?
But then the guy falls, and she can't hear what he's saying to her Lord as she pounds her way through the people between them and her. She skids to her knees, just as he's reaching for the helmet. "Don't!" She says, panting. "Don't, you'll kill him!" She puts her hand on Lord Vader's shoulder. "And I'm not going to let you die." She whispers as the Force flows through her, slowly - painstakingly slowly - trying to stabilize her Lord. "We need to get him on the ship and into his bed." She says, not looking at the man who had been carrying Vader. "Please, help me." She waves at the black shuttle that is Lord Vader's private ship that they'd been headed for.
WELL MISA GO TO SLEEP THEN.
"However, something you should know, he should know, is this: Your mother's last words were about him, I know there is still good in him. Never did she stop believing in him nor loving him." Something he'd been willing to conceal had Yoda been right - better to not have that in Luke's head. But now, knowing what they know. Knowing Anakin - those words would be something he'd latch onto as tightly as he'd latched onto Padmé herself and would pull him through the slog to come.
Yoda's words floated into his head and he's certain Qui-Gon can hear them as well - 'Qui-Gon's defiance in you I sense. Need that, you do not.' Because somehow from Qui-Gon down, to Obi-Wan, to Anakin, to Ahsoka, to Luke - somehow they had all possessed that.
But who had they learned that from, really hm? he could hear Qui-Gon answer.
Skywalker meanwhile was still trying to push Qui-Gon away who was just standing back, allowing the fight to wash over and around. It wasn't difficult for him to understand the problem - the last time Anakin Skywalker had heard his voice had been on Tatooine, during his first tumble into the Dark Side, of course, he wouldn't want to face him. But as patient as the Dark is, The Living Force is more so, and Qui-Gon knew the fight would ebb out eventually. The tiny training connection which had begun between them hadn't been severed, as Anakin never severed attachment. Even if he'd deny it.
Even if he was loudly denying it currently. Almost shouting it - it was, Qui-Gon thought, like the smallest Younglings shouting they weren't tired when they could barely keep their eyes open.
"Aren't you tired of this Anakin? Isn't home where you want to be?" He asked, the first direct statement he'd made towards him.
"The Jedi weren't home!" It's all but screamed back and that's the crack, because it's not a lie, not something he'd managed to convince himself of in order to live with what he'd done. It was truth he'd never admitted out loud and spitting at the face of the man who'd promised him something better wasn't a simple crack in the dam but a catalyst, a failure of the structure. "They didn't want me! No one did!"
"I did." It's quiet and patient and kind. More speaking to the boy on Tatooine than the broken man before him.
"You died." It's nothing but an accusation of betrayal. With enough emotion behind it that the items on the ship quiver a bit.
SHE CAN'T SHE'S KEEPING WATCH
Misa turns a worried eye on the monitors that watch his vitals. They aren't happy. She takes a chance and puts a hand on his thigh. She doesn't want to wake him, just soothe him a bit, get his blood pressure and pulse back where they should be.
She concentrates a little, but knows her Lord will resist. He always does, even when he wants the soothing, he resists. She sighs and starts humming softly, a gentle lullaby that her mom sometimes hums when Misa has trouble sleeping. (She doesn't have his nightmares, but her sleep isn't always easy.) She starts weaving the humming and the soothing together. Maybe it'll work... maybe it won't.
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It gives him something in common with her father, a point of connection even apart from the ray of hope it represents to them both. He looks back up at Ben.
"Why did you let me go through this alone?" he asks finally. He doesn't want to accuse his mentor. But he's spent the past three years walking into the dark, hoping he'll find his way out.
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"You seemed so sure of something I was sure of the opposite. How could I have lead you?" And if he had tried, would it have ended nearly as well?
He didn't believe so. It would probably have ended in Anakin dead -as Vader - and Luke as destroyed as Obi-Wan had been when he'd exiled himself.
Skywalker was still fighting with...whatever was going on. A dream. A visit. But distracted by Misa and trying to mentally push her away too, leaving his attention split.
"Anakin you know I didn't plan for that. I didn't want to leave you or Obi-Wan." It's firm but sympathetic.
"He didn't wasn't me either." It comes out sulky, sully. Doubts he'd never completely quietly but buried. Ones Palpatine had fostered and fanned until they erupted.
And there's no way Misa couldn't sense the profound hurt in her master, when while trying to mentally shove her away. And losing both battles.
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Instead, she rolls up onto her knees, ignoring the hard metal plates under her, and takes his metal hand into her flesh ones. She can't know what her Lord is going through, but he's not going through it alone. She's there. She will be here until he tells her to leave, or something happens to separate them.
Misa feels the tears on her cheeks, and leaves them there. It isn't the first time that she's cried because he can't, and wouldn't, even if he could.
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He'd believed in him. Maybe it's all he's been through the past couple of days, but a flood of emotion wells up in him, all that he's been trying to suppress just to get through it all. He looks at Ben with his heart in his eyes.
"We're going to be all right," he says with quiet passion. "I'm going to take care of him." He doesn't know how, yet. He doesn't know how to get any of them what they need without running afoul of those who will wish 'Vader' harm. But he's going to figure it out.
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"Anakin that isn't fair." Qui-Gon scolded gently, not wanting to pick sides, but aware of how much Obi-Wan did love Anakin. "He didn't know you and as he did, he did want you."
The answer is met with a scoff, a harsh sound he really wasn't capable of making in the waking world. Of course, they'd had conversations with the same accusations and answers over the years. They hadn't made him feel better then and this wasn't now either. Of course, there wasn't any place to pull away that would be slamming him into Misa, even if he can sense her, and her reaction to his own feelings. And he certainly doesn't mean to drag her into his hurt. Although she isn't trying to calm him down anymore so he doesn't need to push that away - which saves his energy. And without being fully asleep his fingers tighten around her hand a little.
Although the willingness to put up a fight is dwindling. He's not drawing on the Dark Side nearly as much and that means it's not sustaining him anymore. "What do you want Qui-Gon?"
"We've missed you Anakin-"
"You or everyone else who decided to try to set my son to kill me? Or who decided to use my wife as bait, no matter the danger she was in?" He wasn't just still feeling rejected but angry - which was a common emotion for him, but it just felt more hollow now.
"Anakin. Lashing out at me isn't going to make me leave, and it's not going to undo the past. Not the wrong committed against you or by you. Or against Padmé." Which wasn't really the point the he wanted to make, but he could meet Anakin where he was right now.
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She doesn't know why he's feeling what he's feeling, but her presence is solid and present. She is another person, much like him, that doesn't give up her people easily. She's lost too many. Her biological parents, the courtesans of the House, and then, almost, Freema and Jocko. And this man, this broken, sad, destroyed man, had taken her in, taken in the pair that had become her parents, and given her a place to live, not just survive. He'll have to pry her off with something a bit stronger than a lightsaber.
Misa double checks the area, just in case, but they're safe, for the moment.
"Let me help." She whispers, worried about his blood pressure and pulse. "Please."
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But even in this dream, this vision, he is exhausted. His body battered, inside and out. And soon, he loses the concentration and either he or Obi-Wan fades from his consciousness, and he falls into a deep, dark slumber.
He's not sure how long he sleeps, but he awakes with a jolt, almost as if Palpatine has him again. His body is seizing, and while it lasts only a brief second, when it passes every muscle in his body aches with a vengeance only adrenaline had spared him the previous day. Everything hurts.
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-- ** -- ** -- ** --- ** --
Misa's words don't really reach him, but her emotions and intent came through. He started to bat away at her but really, did he have the energy? No. His roll of energy was not pulling away from her, but it wasn't submissive either - more a bow of his head to allow her to work.
"No, it won't." It is stubborn, almost petulant but his being stops being as hostile. At least openly. He still is giving the energy of a feral feature, liable to bite. Or attack.
"No. Justice is something which is difficult to get, no matter the place one holds. But that doesn't mean those who love you, even if they can't approve of your actions, stop loving you." Needing to be loved and approved of - these were things Anakin needed to move past but it would not be easy for anyone.
Even if the response was just a scoff. He wasn't going to pull away from Qui-Gon more than he currently was. But he was done talking. However if Qui-Gon wanted to just stay with him...well. He'd like that.
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When the first seizure hits Lord Vader, she's prepared, at least mentally, for it. It's not the first time. Unfortunately, there's not much she can do save soothe him and be there. But then another seizure pings against her senses, spread out as she is. Except it isn't Vader. The presence is different in the Force.
Then her eyes widen. Luke! He must have taken damage from Palpatine. Meaning... kriff. She's going to have two of them. She mutters a few choice phrases under her breath and gets up to go see to Luke. There's nothing she can do for her Lord right now, but his son? Him, she can help.
"Luke?" She says, letting him feel her presence, even as she calls his name. She carefully kneels next to him, her hand hovers over him, but she can feel his pain. "Luke, this will help." She says, gently putting a hand on his forehead and beginning to ease the pain and stiffness left behind by the last day or so. The Force flows through her, warm and light, a gentle breeze on the perfect day. She stops, once she senses he isn't so tense. "Come on. I'll help you to the ship." She plans on getting the hell out of here. Vader and her Dad had taught her to fly. All she needs is a destination.
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He grimaces as he lets her help him sit, then stand, stiffly rubbing fingers through his hair as if worried about the status of his appearance after a night on the ground.
"I'm sorry," he says pointlessly. "I don't know... what that was." A nightmare, maybe? A memory? He still hurts, but he supposes that's to be expected. He fought a battle, yesterday.
Inside and out.
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Well.
He'd made that choice clear. The boy, over him.
But he's still aware enough, even in sleep, to sense her and Luke.
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She hates it. Another reason to really hate Palpatine. She wants to kill the bastard again.
Gently, she takes him into the ship. "Here, stay with him." She says, then fetches blankets to wrap around Luke. Vader will be fine, but she's not so sure about Luke. Her Lord had made it clear: take care of the boy. she would do that.
She grabs a bit of the fruit and meat from the previous night. "Do you think you can eat?" She asks, gently, kneeling in front of him. Her sense of urgency says 'get out', but she needs to care for her patients first.