the_gardens_apple: (Wind)
Misa Almassy aka Lilith ([personal profile] the_gardens_apple) wrote in [community profile] howlingplayground2020-07-14 10:53 pm

(no subject)

Misa is waiting in the only place she can be hidden and not found on this Death Star: Lord Vader's quarters. She'd tried to meditate earlier and had been, well, poked because the Emperor would be able to find her then. She hates not having anything to do, but apparently, her nervous energy blends in with all the other nervous energy on this... horrific monstrosity.

She sighs and leans against the door, her head tilted back as she stares at the ceiling. She concentrates just enough to know that a fight has started. So. Skywalker had shown up? Good. But that doesn't mean that she's not going to help. Oh, she's not stupid enough to go marching into the throne room and trying to decapitate Palpatine - though it's tempting - but she knows that her Lord cannot survive this without her. Her visions had shown her that much, though she's not sure what to think about them.

Another sigh as she begins to pace again. She needs to get out of here, to get somewhere... Her head snaps up. Something had happened to her Lord. Something... Alarms start going off all over the Death Star and she says his orders be damned, she's not staying here. He needs her.

The entire base is in disarray. Stormtroopers and officers are running all which way. She doesn't care about them. She needs to find him. Racing down corridors that she doesn't find familiar, trailing his fading Force presence, Misa is not going to let him die. She doesn't know that she can help him, but she's going to try!

She skids around a corner, slamming into a trio of Stormtroopers that fall as she uses the Force to right herself. Palpatine is dead. She can tell that. He's dead! She stops, reorienting herself and then dashes off again, sliding around another corner. THERE! There he is. Being helped by... Who is that?

But then the guy falls, and she can't hear what he's saying to her Lord as she pounds her way through the people between them and her. She skids to her knees, just as he's reaching for the helmet. "Don't!" She says, panting. "Don't, you'll kill him!" She puts her hand on Lord Vader's shoulder. "And I'm not going to let you die." She whispers as the Force flows through her, slowly - painstakingly slowly - trying to stabilize her Lord. "We need to get him on the ship and into his bed." She says, not looking at the man who had been carrying Vader. "Please, help me." She waves at the black shuttle that is Lord Vader's private ship that they'd been headed for.
nouskaiananki: (Lecture Mode)

WELL MISA GO TO SLEEP THEN.

[personal profile] nouskaiananki 2021-06-02 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
"They were wrong in wanting to deny him training to begin with. And Anakin so often felt unwanted, alone, because of that choice being made quite clear to him right from the start. Not helped by my not being ready to take on Padawan learner but no one else would." And he'd been left alone, to founder through not just training a Padawan but raising a deeply troubled and insecure little boy. One he'd come to love, far more than a Jedi should love. "That is a longer discussion and one probably had including your father." If he ever stops shoving his fingers in his ears, at least.

"However, something you should know, he should know, is this: Your mother's last words were about him, I know there is still good in him. Never did she stop believing in him nor loving him." Something he'd been willing to conceal had Yoda been right - better to not have that in Luke's head. But now, knowing what they know. Knowing Anakin - those words would be something he'd latch onto as tightly as he'd latched onto Padmé herself and would pull him through the slog to come.

Yoda's words floated into his head and he's certain Qui-Gon can hear them as well - 'Qui-Gon's defiance in you I sense. Need that, you do not.' Because somehow from Qui-Gon down, to Obi-Wan, to Anakin, to Ahsoka, to Luke - somehow they had all possessed that.

But who had they learned that from, really hm? he could hear Qui-Gon answer.

Skywalker meanwhile was still trying to push Qui-Gon away who was just standing back, allowing the fight to wash over and around. It wasn't difficult for him to understand the problem - the last time Anakin Skywalker had heard his voice had been on Tatooine, during his first tumble into the Dark Side, of course, he wouldn't want to face him. But as patient as the Dark is, The Living Force is more so, and Qui-Gon knew the fight would ebb out eventually. The tiny training connection which had begun between them hadn't been severed, as Anakin never severed attachment. Even if he'd deny it.

Even if he was loudly denying it currently. Almost shouting it - it was, Qui-Gon thought, like the smallest Younglings shouting they weren't tired when they could barely keep their eyes open.

"Aren't you tired of this Anakin? Isn't home where you want to be?" He asked, the first direct statement he'd made towards him.

"The Jedi weren't home!" It's all but screamed back and that's the crack, because it's not a lie, not something he'd managed to convince himself of in order to live with what he'd done. It was truth he'd never admitted out loud and spitting at the face of the man who'd promised him something better wasn't a simple crack in the dam but a catalyst, a failure of the structure. "They didn't want me! No one did!"

"I did." It's quiet and patient and kind. More speaking to the boy on Tatooine than the broken man before him.

"You died." It's nothing but an accusation of betrayal. With enough emotion behind it that the items on the ship quiver a bit.
neverjoinyou: (lost)

[personal profile] neverjoinyou 2021-06-03 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
"My mother." Luke stills, as if by doing so he can drink in this little piece of her, hold her within himself.

It gives him something in common with her father, a point of connection even apart from the ray of hope it represents to them both. He looks back up at Ben.

"Why did you let me go through this alone?" he asks finally. He doesn't want to accuse his mentor. But he's spent the past three years walking into the dark, hoping he'll find his way out.
nouskaiananki: (Default)

[personal profile] nouskaiananki 2021-06-03 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
"Padmè yes." Because he's not even sure Luke knows her name. "You have cousins too, and more from her Clan. Anakin would know more." So please don't ask: he's decades out if contact with anyone who would know.

"You seemed so sure of something I was sure of the opposite. How could I have lead you?" And if he had tried, would it have ended nearly as well?

He didn't believe so. It would probably have ended in Anakin dead -as Vader - and Luke as destroyed as Obi-Wan had been when he'd exiled himself.

Skywalker was still fighting with...whatever was going on. A dream. A visit. But distracted by Misa and trying to mentally push her away too, leaving his attention split.

"Anakin you know I didn't plan for that. I didn't want to leave you or Obi-Wan." It's firm but sympathetic.

"He didn't wasn't me either." It comes out sulky, sully. Doubts he'd never completely quietly but buried. Ones Palpatine had fostered and fanned until they erupted.

And there's no way Misa couldn't sense the profound hurt in her master, when while trying to mentally shove her away. And losing both battles.
neverjoinyou: (dad no)

[personal profile] neverjoinyou 2021-06-04 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
It takes Luke a moment realize what Obi-Wan is saying. He hadn't abandoned Luke.

He'd believed in him. Maybe it's all he's been through the past couple of days, but a flood of emotion wells up in him, all that he's been trying to suppress just to get through it all. He looks at Ben with his heart in his eyes.

"We're going to be all right," he says with quiet passion. "I'm going to take care of him." He doesn't know how, yet. He doesn't know how to get any of them what they need without running afoul of those who will wish 'Vader' harm. But he's going to figure it out.
nouskaiananki: (Obsecured)

[personal profile] nouskaiananki 2021-06-04 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan crossed over to stand beside Luke, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder and give his upper arm a pat. He wasn't comfortable being physically demonstrative, and had grown less so during the isolation of exile but he was willing to guess Luke was more like Anakin in that regard. "He's going to need it. But he's going to latch very hard onto you, and well. He was never one to really let someone take care of him. It's more something you manage despite him." As everyone who'd been in a position to try had learned.

"Anakin that isn't fair." Qui-Gon scolded gently, not wanting to pick sides, but aware of how much Obi-Wan did love Anakin. "He didn't know you and as he did, he did want you."

The answer is met with a scoff, a harsh sound he really wasn't capable of making in the waking world. Of course, they'd had conversations with the same accusations and answers over the years. They hadn't made him feel better then and this wasn't now either. Of course, there wasn't any place to pull away that would be slamming him into Misa, even if he can sense her, and her reaction to his own feelings. And he certainly doesn't mean to drag her into his hurt. Although she isn't trying to calm him down anymore so he doesn't need to push that away - which saves his energy. And without being fully asleep his fingers tighten around her hand a little.

Although the willingness to put up a fight is dwindling. He's not drawing on the Dark Side nearly as much and that means it's not sustaining him anymore. "What do you want Qui-Gon?"

"We've missed you Anakin-"

"You or everyone else who decided to try to set my son to kill me? Or who decided to use my wife as bait, no matter the danger she was in?" He wasn't just still feeling rejected but angry - which was a common emotion for him, but it just felt more hollow now.

"Anakin. Lashing out at me isn't going to make me leave, and it's not going to undo the past. Not the wrong committed against you or by you. Or against Padmé." Which wasn't really the point the he wanted to make, but he could meet Anakin where he was right now.
neverjoinyou: (sister)

[personal profile] neverjoinyou 2021-07-26 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan is not physically demonstrative, but Luke is, and he's never truly gotten to say goodbye. Now, of course, he knows that goodbye isn't really goodbye, not for them. But still. He leans into the squeeze and then throws his arms around Ben, just one time.

But even in this dream, this vision, he is exhausted. His body battered, inside and out. And soon, he loses the concentration and either he or Obi-Wan fades from his consciousness, and he falls into a deep, dark slumber.

He's not sure how long he sleeps, but he awakes with a jolt, almost as if Palpatine has him again. His body is seizing, and while it lasts only a brief second, when it passes every muscle in his body aches with a vengeance only adrenaline had spared him the previous day. Everything hurts.
nouskaiananki: (Unmasked)

[personal profile] nouskaiananki 2021-07-29 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
Obi-Wan couldn't say he was surprised at Luke's actions - they mirrored Anakin's so truly it felt like a squeeze to his heart. And in this moment, he can return the embrace, holding onto Luke in a way he never could have in life. But he still whispers in the Force - rest. sleep. heal But he still lingers, until Luke is deeply asleep.

-- ** -- ** -- ** --- ** --

Misa's words don't really reach him, but her emotions and intent came through. He started to bat away at her but really, did he have the energy? No. His roll of energy was not pulling away from her, but it wasn't submissive either - more a bow of his head to allow her to work.

"No, it won't." It is stubborn, almost petulant but his being stops being as hostile. At least openly. He still is giving the energy of a feral feature, liable to bite. Or attack.

"No. Justice is something which is difficult to get, no matter the place one holds. But that doesn't mean those who love you, even if they can't approve of your actions, stop loving you." Needing to be loved and approved of - these were things Anakin needed to move past but it would not be easy for anyone.

Even if the response was just a scoff. He wasn't going to pull away from Qui-Gon more than he currently was. But he was done talking. However if Qui-Gon wanted to just stay with him...well. He'd like that.
neverjoinyou: (meditation)

[personal profile] neverjoinyou 2021-10-21 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Luke opens his eyes, blinking a few times before his vision clears enough to truly see her. He had not startled at her presence or her touch; even now with the memories fresh, he seems to trust her. And the relief is, well, a relief. He hadn't known such things were possible, with the Force. There is so much he doesn't know. There's so much he's been left without, that having his father alive, and here with him... even having Misa, whatever she is to him, means everything.

He grimaces as he lets her help him sit, then stand, stiffly rubbing fingers through his hair as if worried about the status of his appearance after a night on the ground.

"I'm sorry," he says pointlessly. "I don't know... what that was." A nightmare, maybe? A memory? He still hurts, but he supposes that's to be expected. He fought a battle, yesterday.

Inside and out.
nouskaiananki: (Unmasked)

[personal profile] nouskaiananki 2022-04-19 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
The seizures are always bad. Worse each time - more severe, lasting longer, in the duration of the spell and in the duration of time it takes them to fade away as his body heals. They aren't pleasant, they are painful, but they pass and aren't frightening - he just needs to rest. When it hits, it rips him away from Qui-Gon's lingering presence and drives the needles from his helmet further into his skull. But he can only focus on Misa so far - he pulls away because exhaustion is going to claim him and the more he fights, the more he tries the more he's going to have to make choices he doesn't want to have to choose between. Misa will see him through medically, he knows, and she will see to Luke, and if there's a choice to make, who gets her attention and energy...

Well.

He'd made that choice clear. The boy, over him.

But he's still aware enough, even in sleep, to sense her and Luke.