Misa Almassy aka Lilith (
the_gardens_apple) wrote in
howlingplayground2020-07-14 10:53 pm
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Misa is waiting in the only place she can be hidden and not found on this Death Star: Lord Vader's quarters. She'd tried to meditate earlier and had been, well, poked because the Emperor would be able to find her then. She hates not having anything to do, but apparently, her nervous energy blends in with all the other nervous energy on this... horrific monstrosity.
She sighs and leans against the door, her head tilted back as she stares at the ceiling. She concentrates just enough to know that a fight has started. So. Skywalker had shown up? Good. But that doesn't mean that she's not going to help. Oh, she's not stupid enough to go marching into the throne room and trying to decapitate Palpatine - though it's tempting - but she knows that her Lord cannot survive this without her. Her visions had shown her that much, though she's not sure what to think about them.
Another sigh as she begins to pace again. She needs to get out of here, to get somewhere... Her head snaps up. Something had happened to her Lord. Something... Alarms start going off all over the Death Star and she says his orders be damned, she's not staying here. He needs her.
The entire base is in disarray. Stormtroopers and officers are running all which way. She doesn't care about them. She needs to find him. Racing down corridors that she doesn't find familiar, trailing his fading Force presence, Misa is not going to let him die. She doesn't know that she can help him, but she's going to try!
She skids around a corner, slamming into a trio of Stormtroopers that fall as she uses the Force to right herself. Palpatine is dead. She can tell that. He's dead! She stops, reorienting herself and then dashes off again, sliding around another corner. THERE! There he is. Being helped by... Who is that?
But then the guy falls, and she can't hear what he's saying to her Lord as she pounds her way through the people between them and her. She skids to her knees, just as he's reaching for the helmet. "Don't!" She says, panting. "Don't, you'll kill him!" She puts her hand on Lord Vader's shoulder. "And I'm not going to let you die." She whispers as the Force flows through her, slowly - painstakingly slowly - trying to stabilize her Lord. "We need to get him on the ship and into his bed." She says, not looking at the man who had been carrying Vader. "Please, help me." She waves at the black shuttle that is Lord Vader's private ship that they'd been headed for.
She sighs and leans against the door, her head tilted back as she stares at the ceiling. She concentrates just enough to know that a fight has started. So. Skywalker had shown up? Good. But that doesn't mean that she's not going to help. Oh, she's not stupid enough to go marching into the throne room and trying to decapitate Palpatine - though it's tempting - but she knows that her Lord cannot survive this without her. Her visions had shown her that much, though she's not sure what to think about them.
Another sigh as she begins to pace again. She needs to get out of here, to get somewhere... Her head snaps up. Something had happened to her Lord. Something... Alarms start going off all over the Death Star and she says his orders be damned, she's not staying here. He needs her.
The entire base is in disarray. Stormtroopers and officers are running all which way. She doesn't care about them. She needs to find him. Racing down corridors that she doesn't find familiar, trailing his fading Force presence, Misa is not going to let him die. She doesn't know that she can help him, but she's going to try!
She skids around a corner, slamming into a trio of Stormtroopers that fall as she uses the Force to right herself. Palpatine is dead. She can tell that. He's dead! She stops, reorienting herself and then dashes off again, sliding around another corner. THERE! There he is. Being helped by... Who is that?
But then the guy falls, and she can't hear what he's saying to her Lord as she pounds her way through the people between them and her. She skids to her knees, just as he's reaching for the helmet. "Don't!" She says, panting. "Don't, you'll kill him!" She puts her hand on Lord Vader's shoulder. "And I'm not going to let you die." She whispers as the Force flows through her, slowly - painstakingly slowly - trying to stabilize her Lord. "We need to get him on the ship and into his bed." She says, not looking at the man who had been carrying Vader. "Please, help me." She waves at the black shuttle that is Lord Vader's private ship that they'd been headed for.
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He just needs to figure out what that means. But he's reaching the end of any brainpower he's ever had, and inspiration isn't going to come to him tonight.
"I just want you to understand I care about him. I know you've...been around longer. But I'm not going to squander the faith he's put in me."
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For Misa too. For what could have been, would have been, if he hadn't stumbled over her.
For all of the Outer Rim which had found a stability under the Empire which the Republic hadn't had - one he's not willing to allow them to lose.
And Misa was laughing and more relaxed. It took his wariness down just a level but also made him determined to stay alert - the kids, both of them, deserved a chance to rest.
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"I will explain how you are no stranger to me, tomorrow." She says, raising her hand to cup Luke's cheek. "Because you aren't. Not in the way you mean. But for tonight, I want you to eat, and then sleep." She says, smiling a bit.
She pushes herself up and checks the meat, spearing a few pieces onto a plate. "Here. This, and the fruit aren't what my Mom would call a meal, but it's what we have." She says. "Eat, and then, we will rest. Tomorrow brings more challenges." She'll spend the night on the floor of the ship. Not the first time she's done that. Besides, it leaves her close, if something goes wrong with Lord Vader.
She smiles at Luke. "Eat, and then into the shelter with you. You need rest as much as he does." She smirks. "Time for me to put to use all my training and protect you both."
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He'll figure it all out. Tomorrow.
She says something about this not being a real meal but at the first bite of the meet his eyes fly up to hers and he nods appreciatively. He's ravenous, and while the Ewoks had fed them pretty well, he's used to dehydrated meal cubes and jerky. "This is amazing," he says. He eats some more, and when he feels like he can think a little again, he says, "thank you. Not for this. I mean, for this, yes. But for... what you are to him. And for saving both of us."
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But those are all stories not for tonight, not even for tomorrow really - although Ahsoka would probably come first, once he figured out what he planned to say to her. And others - people he could feel on the edges as if watching.
Probably watching. People he wasn't sure he was ready to acknowledge.
But Luke might be - Qui-Gon Jinn had once upon a time spoken to him in his sleep. He wondered if Kenobi would to Luke. What he'd think of Misa. What Ahsoka would think of her.
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She blushes at his thanks. "I... Lord Vader saved me." She says, softly. "He saw a young, terrified girl, and rescued her from a life that might have destroyed who and what I am." She can see that now, with years of separation. With the kindness of her parents, and yes, even the kindness of Lord Vader, she can see that being a courtesan, no matter how much she thought she wanted it, would have destroyed part of her.
"I am glad to repay what he has done for me in some small measure." She whispers. "As long as you forgive me, as he does, when I become imperious because I am the Healer and really do know best, I think we could become friends?" Perhaps more, were he willing, but that's a conversation for a different time, a different place.
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Not that Luke would say it to their faces. Or, well. He thinks he should be the type of person who wouldn't say it to their faces, but he probably would. If only they were here, with faces, to understand the gravity of what's happened. To know that Anakin has come back to him. To them.
He blinks at Misa. "I almost died tonight because I offered myself up to the man who cut my hand off expecting him to change his mind," he says. Maybe he is tired--he wouldn't normally be so blunt. "I think I can safely say a lack of forgiveness is not an issue I have."
And he smiles at her, as if to say, it's not a question.
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He had been lost, feeling like he'd backed himself into a corner with no way out and had lashed out at those who would keep him there. But slowly he'd found ways out. Trained himself when Palpatine refused to. Reclaimed things he'd been good at, great at. Reclaimed the ability to care.
You left me, you wanted me to die, you didn't care about me! He probably would have screamed those words, could he scream, at Kenobi would have at Yoda. It had taken time but he'd latched onto the lifelines he'd found and been given. Had clawed his way back to something.
Whatever this was.
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"Well, since you've already forgiven me, I'm going to prod you a bit." She nudges him with her elbow. "Eat, then sleep. I'm going to be telling your father the same thing as soon as I've put you to bed." Meaning, it will be up to her to keep an eye out. She's used to being spread out over an area, and the two men have had an eventful day. And if she has to, she can help Lord Vader sleep. She's done it before.
"Do you want some help sleeping?" She asks Luke gently, putting her hand on his knee. She'll take liberties, because she can and he's already forgiven her, right?
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"I can't let you keep watch," he says dumbly. "What if something happens?"
He doesn't think he'll need help sleeping. And he also has no idea what she means. There's so much he doesn't know. So much that will probably terrify him in retrospect.
But if he'd known anything, he'd never have started out.
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Not that the girl hadn't kept watch before, not that he didn't trust her to do so, over himself and his son. He's not paranoid, people truly want him dead. Would harm her. Would possibly harm Luke to get through.
But Luke at least needs to sleep and he knows Misa won't leave him until he is.
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She smiles at Luke, amused at his concern. "If something happens, I won't be far from you, and you can roll out of the shelter, and rescue me." She's teasing. She very, very rarely needs rescued and once had been because that Toydarean, Treeko, had sent a bounty hunter to find her when she was fifteen. Lord Vader had not taken well to such a thing happening.
"Really, Luke," she uses his name for the first time. "I'll be okay. I'm going to get into an argument with your father," still weird to say, "and then, I'll be meditating most of the night. It'll help my focus, and allow me to protect all three of us." She knows that if the Rebels come upon them, likely the only person to get out unscathed is Luke. "You have been through an emotionally and physically taxing trial. It's okay to let someone else bear the burden for a moment." She says gently.
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He's tired. Exhausted, even, in every possible way. And he can't fight her, too.
"Okay," he says, suddenly giving in. He smiles tiredly at her. "You're right, and I'm no good to anyone if I don't rest. Thank you. For ... everything."
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He pressed against Misa too, approving fondness and resigned to her fussing that would come.
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She presses her presence back against him, reassuring him that his son will be safe and cared for. She would never allow anything to happen to Lord Vader's Son.
To Luke, though, she just holds onto his hand and bumps him genially with an elbow. "You're welcome. And you'll find that I'm right, rather often." Especially when it comes to physical complaints. She knows both men are exhausted and sore. She also knows this isn't the worst Vader has been. But he doesn't have anything else to prove. Palpatine is dead.
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For the first time.
He thinks it will be hard for him to fall asleep, but it is a matter of minutes from his head hitting the ground to fatigue overcoming him. This does not mean the Force is done with him, however...
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Time to reach out, to attempt to find an old friend, to see if she meant it - "I won't leave you this time" - because Luke (and Leia) will need training he can't provide.
He can almost hear "trust me so little old friend?" but ignore it. There are things, people, he's not ready to face.
But of course, the Force week do as it's wont to do. To him. To Luke. He knows it's easier for those who have joined the Force to speak when one sleeps and its only part of why he resists.
But Luke doesn't know that perhaps or has less opposition to the idea - Skywalker knows he's fast asleep and himself well. There is that twilight between sleep and wakefullness he can almost swim in.
And its in sleep that Luke will find himself standing on an ancient stone plaza, with a large stone carved with equally ancient word around the edge, and Kenobi waiting. "You did well Luke." It's warm, welcoming.
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She takes in a deep breath and lets out the terror, the uncertainty finally. Lord Vader is alive. Luke is alive (She'd had thoughts that if Luke died, there'd be no stopping her Lord from following him). And Palpatine is dead. She knows that the Emperor probably had contingencies for just such a possibility, but for right now, he's dead and they can take a deep breath.
She doesn't sleep. This isn't the first night she's kept watch over her Lord for one reason or another - at least this time it isn't, directly, because of Palpatine - and she knows that Luke will probably need her come morning.
Staring at the ceiling, she takes another breath and releases her rigid self control, allowing her senses to spread out over the area. She can feel Luke, her Lord and the creatures curious about the silent metal creature in their midst. She just lets herself ride that sensation against her senses. It is, for once, peaceful.
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"I thought you'd be disappointed," he says finally, and if he has questions about where he is or how, he doesn't voice them. Yet. "You said there was nothing left to reach."
It's not to say 'you were wrong' so much as to say, 'you thought I was wrong,' and even if it amounts to the same thing, it's the latter he means.
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And there are legends which circle this very topic. Ones that if repeated could spell a terrifying time for the galaxy. "But no, regaining Anakin Skywalker...for personal reasons, for the fate the of the galaxy, there could be no better outcome."
Luke doesn't need to know about the discussions which had threatened to spill into outright shouting between the three Jedi who knew the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker best and found each other again to discuss it. He'd always had a problem with attachment but Yoda hadn't been wrong in his assessment that Obi-Wan was also overly attached to his former Padawan.
And he doesn't need to know that another Jedi was currently trying to reach Anakin, for all it seems the near-youngest of this lineage is engaging in a proverbial slap fight to not in fact speak to anyone. Qui-Gon Jinn, however, is nearly as stubborn as Anakin, sometimes more so - so it would be interesting to see who would win.
Currently, Skywalker was winning, or he thought it was. It was possible the old man was trying to wear him down, but that was...a worry for later. There were few words to express how much he was reluctant and afraid to run into the specter of the man he'd once worshiped and fear was not an emotion he was used to entertaining.
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Her Lord had told her about Force Ghosts, but she's never felt one before, so could this be it? She frowns, feeling another... thing around Luke. That's disappointing. No one's ever come to talk to her. That's... really disappointing. Not that she thinks herself worthy of such a visitation, just she's curious and being denied knowledge doesn't sit well with her.
And, alright, she's jealous. Jealous and curious. And it's not fair. She huffs out a sigh, knowing she's being ridiculous.
So, what should she do about it? Well, nothing, really. There wasn't anything she could do about it. She takes a deep breath. Something to be done was a scan of the area. So, that's what she sets her senses to do. Nothing close enough for her to feel except the fauna of the world.
lol sorry Misa!
"They were wrong," he says earnestly. He's not reading Ben's mind, of course. It's the logical train of his thoughts. "The Jedi, I mean. The... thing about attachments, about emotions. It's how I knew Anakin was still in there. It's how I--we--both survived. We wouldn't have, without that connection."
WELL MISA GO TO SLEEP THEN.
"However, something you should know, he should know, is this: Your mother's last words were about him, I know there is still good in him. Never did she stop believing in him nor loving him." Something he'd been willing to conceal had Yoda been right - better to not have that in Luke's head. But now, knowing what they know. Knowing Anakin - those words would be something he'd latch onto as tightly as he'd latched onto Padmé herself and would pull him through the slog to come.
Yoda's words floated into his head and he's certain Qui-Gon can hear them as well - 'Qui-Gon's defiance in you I sense. Need that, you do not.' Because somehow from Qui-Gon down, to Obi-Wan, to Anakin, to Ahsoka, to Luke - somehow they had all possessed that.
But who had they learned that from, really hm? he could hear Qui-Gon answer.
Skywalker meanwhile was still trying to push Qui-Gon away who was just standing back, allowing the fight to wash over and around. It wasn't difficult for him to understand the problem - the last time Anakin Skywalker had heard his voice had been on Tatooine, during his first tumble into the Dark Side, of course, he wouldn't want to face him. But as patient as the Dark is, The Living Force is more so, and Qui-Gon knew the fight would ebb out eventually. The tiny training connection which had begun between them hadn't been severed, as Anakin never severed attachment. Even if he'd deny it.
Even if he was loudly denying it currently. Almost shouting it - it was, Qui-Gon thought, like the smallest Younglings shouting they weren't tired when they could barely keep their eyes open.
"Aren't you tired of this Anakin? Isn't home where you want to be?" He asked, the first direct statement he'd made towards him.
"The Jedi weren't home!" It's all but screamed back and that's the crack, because it's not a lie, not something he'd managed to convince himself of in order to live with what he'd done. It was truth he'd never admitted out loud and spitting at the face of the man who'd promised him something better wasn't a simple crack in the dam but a catalyst, a failure of the structure. "They didn't want me! No one did!"
"I did." It's quiet and patient and kind. More speaking to the boy on Tatooine than the broken man before him.
"You died." It's nothing but an accusation of betrayal. With enough emotion behind it that the items on the ship quiver a bit.
SHE CAN'T SHE'S KEEPING WATCH
Misa turns a worried eye on the monitors that watch his vitals. They aren't happy. She takes a chance and puts a hand on his thigh. She doesn't want to wake him, just soothe him a bit, get his blood pressure and pulse back where they should be.
She concentrates a little, but knows her Lord will resist. He always does, even when he wants the soothing, he resists. She sighs and starts humming softly, a gentle lullaby that her mom sometimes hums when Misa has trouble sleeping. (She doesn't have his nightmares, but her sleep isn't always easy.) She starts weaving the humming and the soothing together. Maybe it'll work... maybe it won't.
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It gives him something in common with her father, a point of connection even apart from the ray of hope it represents to them both. He looks back up at Ben.
"Why did you let me go through this alone?" he asks finally. He doesn't want to accuse his mentor. But he's spent the past three years walking into the dark, hoping he'll find his way out.
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