"They were wrong in wanting to deny him training to begin with. And Anakin so often felt unwanted, alone, because of that choice being made quite clear to him right from the start. Not helped by my not being ready to take on Padawan learner but no one else would." And he'd been left alone, to founder through not just training a Padawan but raising a deeply troubled and insecure little boy. One he'd come to love, far more than a Jedi should love. "That is a longer discussion and one probably had including your father." If he ever stops shoving his fingers in his ears, at least.
"However, something you should know, he should know, is this: Your mother's last words were about him, I know there is still good in him. Never did she stop believing in him nor loving him." Something he'd been willing to conceal had Yoda been right - better to not have that in Luke's head. But now, knowing what they know. Knowing Anakin - those words would be something he'd latch onto as tightly as he'd latched onto Padmé herself and would pull him through the slog to come.
Yoda's words floated into his head and he's certain Qui-Gon can hear them as well - 'Qui-Gon's defiance in you I sense. Need that, you do not.' Because somehow from Qui-Gon down, to Obi-Wan, to Anakin, to Ahsoka, to Luke - somehow they had all possessed that.
But who had they learned that from, really hm? he could hear Qui-Gon answer.
Skywalker meanwhile was still trying to push Qui-Gon away who was just standing back, allowing the fight to wash over and around. It wasn't difficult for him to understand the problem - the last time Anakin Skywalker had heard his voice had been on Tatooine, during his first tumble into the Dark Side, of course, he wouldn't want to face him. But as patient as the Dark is, The Living Force is more so, and Qui-Gon knew the fight would ebb out eventually. The tiny training connection which had begun between them hadn't been severed, as Anakin never severed attachment. Even if he'd deny it.
Even if he was loudly denying it currently. Almost shouting it - it was, Qui-Gon thought, like the smallest Younglings shouting they weren't tired when they could barely keep their eyes open.
"Aren't you tired of this Anakin? Isn't home where you want to be?" He asked, the first direct statement he'd made towards him.
"The Jedi weren't home!" It's all but screamed back and that's the crack, because it's not a lie, not something he'd managed to convince himself of in order to live with what he'd done. It was truth he'd never admitted out loud and spitting at the face of the man who'd promised him something better wasn't a simple crack in the dam but a catalyst, a failure of the structure. "They didn't want me! No one did!"
"I did." It's quiet and patient and kind. More speaking to the boy on Tatooine than the broken man before him.
"You died." It's nothing but an accusation of betrayal. With enough emotion behind it that the items on the ship quiver a bit.
WELL MISA GO TO SLEEP THEN.
"However, something you should know, he should know, is this: Your mother's last words were about him, I know there is still good in him. Never did she stop believing in him nor loving him." Something he'd been willing to conceal had Yoda been right - better to not have that in Luke's head. But now, knowing what they know. Knowing Anakin - those words would be something he'd latch onto as tightly as he'd latched onto Padmé herself and would pull him through the slog to come.
Yoda's words floated into his head and he's certain Qui-Gon can hear them as well - 'Qui-Gon's defiance in you I sense. Need that, you do not.' Because somehow from Qui-Gon down, to Obi-Wan, to Anakin, to Ahsoka, to Luke - somehow they had all possessed that.
But who had they learned that from, really hm? he could hear Qui-Gon answer.
Skywalker meanwhile was still trying to push Qui-Gon away who was just standing back, allowing the fight to wash over and around. It wasn't difficult for him to understand the problem - the last time Anakin Skywalker had heard his voice had been on Tatooine, during his first tumble into the Dark Side, of course, he wouldn't want to face him. But as patient as the Dark is, The Living Force is more so, and Qui-Gon knew the fight would ebb out eventually. The tiny training connection which had begun between them hadn't been severed, as Anakin never severed attachment. Even if he'd deny it.
Even if he was loudly denying it currently. Almost shouting it - it was, Qui-Gon thought, like the smallest Younglings shouting they weren't tired when they could barely keep their eyes open.
"Aren't you tired of this Anakin? Isn't home where you want to be?" He asked, the first direct statement he'd made towards him.
"The Jedi weren't home!" It's all but screamed back and that's the crack, because it's not a lie, not something he'd managed to convince himself of in order to live with what he'd done. It was truth he'd never admitted out loud and spitting at the face of the man who'd promised him something better wasn't a simple crack in the dam but a catalyst, a failure of the structure. "They didn't want me! No one did!"
"I did." It's quiet and patient and kind. More speaking to the boy on Tatooine than the broken man before him.
"You died." It's nothing but an accusation of betrayal. With enough emotion behind it that the items on the ship quiver a bit.